When you get older and wiser, you might recognize that things come to you and leave you in just a wink of eyes. Along with those visits, they left you with happiness, sadness, hope, desperation, or mishaps. Indeed, the question you deal with all the time can be “WHY”. That word will naturally lead you to the trap of Gain & Lost and cause you to gain more by any means and restrict losing what you already have. However, what happened afterward? Still, they stay with you forever as expected! Instead of treating it as two separate components, make it an authentic expedition, accept its rules and regulations, and learn to adapt to whatever comes to you at any time.
Born and Die
I bet that you still remember the story about the Great Emperor of the Qin Dynasty – Qin Shi Huang. Along with his burning ambition to be the Greatest King, he nurtured the hope of prolonging his life forever. There was a myth which stated that Qin Shi Huang was looking for a special potion to turn him into an immortal. Despite all his all-out effort, he died at the age of 49 because of using sulfur – which was seen as the elixir of life at that time.
So, what can you learn from his case? Can you go against the nature of life? I reckon that you will say “No” based on today’s available data.
Born and Die cannot be separated from each other, they are two faces of the coin or two poles of your life. They succeed each other and that eternal law happens over and over again.
from New to Senior, from Young to Mature
Like Born and Die, New and Senior, or Young to Mature are still two faces of other life perspectives. They are always together and cause diversity and multifaceted issues in human life.
When you are new, you hope that one day you will be senior like the role model you are observing now. When you reach that target, you change your mind. You wish you could be the person back in the days when there weren’t many ups and downs, concerns, and depression. In other words, when you gain what you expected, then you lose what already had in the past – Gained then Lost happen at the same time!
What implications are there for the Concept of Gained then Lost?
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Firstly, consider “Gained then Lost” as a natural rule of life!
When you start something as a freshman, you are supposed to accept that you are inexperienced. You see things from a fresh angle of view, your ideas might sometimes be good or not good enough. And you will receive more advice and feedback from your seniors. You naturally hope that you want to be like them. One day, you reach that goal, and your points of view will be sharper and more comprehensive. You might be very happy with your achievement. And sometimes, you might encounter very innocent opinions from a freshman at your workplace, you put a gentle smile on your face then and recall your image in the past. That image is your past, it never comes back to your current time. The moment you transformed yourself into an experienced one indicated that you lost your innocence.
According to my personal observation, some people wish they could do something else to adjust some parts of their past stories. However, it is impossible to make it happen! Regret appears, finds a corner in your head, and hides itself from you. It just wakes up thanks to proper stimuli.
It is enough for regret in your life. Stand up and make it more meaningful and vivid as it deserves.
Secondly, recognize the “Trade-off” and Sacrifice in Gained then Lost!
We were born to be innocent, but wise or experienced. Being innocent is a gift from the Mother of Nature. We have to learn step by step. Although everyone has a life, it becomes more vivid or dull due to an individual’s perception of daily experiences. Nevertheless, there is a rule we need to know.
“For every loss, there is a hidden gain. For every gain, there is a hidden loss.” – Hazrat Inayat Khan
For example, when you are single, you are longing for a pinky romantic relationship. After that, you start dating someone. At first, excitement and curiosity bring you to a different world, in which you might forget everything. The “honeymoon” stage allures and draws people to the more challenging stages afterward. When you make more serious and official decisions about marriage, you will discover more things behind the scenes. It depends on your perceptions, reactions, and compassion; a happy or sad ending will come. What can you learn from this very common situation?
- You gain more quality time for your boyfriend/ girlfriend, you lose quality time for your parents.
- You gain a partner, and you lose your bachelor life.
and then,
- You lose your relationship with your man or woman, you gain freedom.
- You lose sweet moments with your spouse, you gain a lesson to live better.
Sometimes, you can track your work life, and you might recognize something similar when you get promoted to a higher position.
- You gain a new position, new network, and new experiences; you lose your freedom, your old friends or colleagues, and your innocence.
- You gain better challenges to open your horizon and enhance your expertise, but you lose your private time.
and so on…
In the Theory of Ecological Systems, each of us is the center of the circles. The biggest one represents the chronosystem (dimension of time) and macrosystem (social cultural lifestyles), and the other smaller ones indicate the exosystem (industry, social service, mass media, local politics), mesosystem (the interactions among microsystems), and then microsystem (family, peers, school, church, workplace) in order. The systems carry themselves the impactful elements to our life development. These elements will influence what we gain and then lose! It means that if we decide to experience something new, we will gain new things and lose the old ones. Willingly or not, it is very natural indeed.
Gained then Lost is not a problem, this concept reminds you that when you decide to be something or someone, think about what you need to trade off or sacrifice. When your decision is officially made, never regret it. Live with it, enjoy it, and be well prepared for the transition from “Gained to Lost”.
(to be continued)
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