Written by 2:50 am Growth Mindset • 31 Comments

Is Success The Greatest Obsession in Life ?

Are you on the way to finding out your Success Equation? What are the constants and variables in that Equation? Are the successful people’s Equations the same? And dozens of questions like that popping up in your mind in terms of S-U-C-C-E-S-S…

Millions or billions of people out there are looking for or currently creating their formulas or equations. I am, too! That means I am not successful according to the social norms.

  • Success is measured by how much money you can earn
  • Success is measured by how famous you are,
  • Success is measured by influential you are towards your surrounding people.

PART 1 | KNOWING and MANAGING YOURSELF

In this article, “How to be Successful” is hardly what we are after. However, we can try to see things oppositely. I cannot guarantee that you will be successful, but I can be so sure if you are carrying one of the thoughts or behaviors below, you have been digging your own grave.

#Problem 1: Looking for Perfection

Imperfection is better than Perfection since everything is relative, not absolute. You cannot tell that you are having good thoughts, good mindsets, good techniques, good formulas, or good products if you have never had any failures of them.

Derek’s Story: About 6 or 7 years ago, when I tried my best to figure out what KPIs were, I found a book that I thought could help me get out of my problem with performance management at that time. I was quite surprised that the author mentioned that he had been researching and studying KPIs and how the big corporations applied KPIs in their daily business operations for years and until that 3rd edition, he could draw a better picture of KPIs and how to apply it more efficiently. “OH DEAR!” – I muttered. It means that even an expert like the author, David Parmenter,  needed years and released 3 editions to describe and instruct people to use KPIs efficiently. And now, I guess those who knew KPIs and mastered KPIs are upgrading their understanding and practices to the next level. Things keep changing in a way we cannot resist!

Why do you have to rush to be Perfect when you cannot? Perfection is like the Phantom in the opera house. It can haunt you for years without any traces. Anyway, in the long run, you will see yourself as a loser or an incompetent person, no more and no less!

#Problem 2: Being trapped by the feeling of “So much to do, So little done”

Recently, when I have been interacting more closely with my students and learners, I heard lots of stories from them. There were achievements and even mounting concerns. Suddenly, I brought all that I heard into question. Why are they so struggling to lead their life, study, and work?

I started my little research with my Buddy – “My Beloved Google”. After reading a few related documents as well as reports, I found that learners and workers are seriously in a battle between “Single-minded” and “Multi-minded”.

If you are not well aware of the approaches you are applying to learn or work, you will get stuck with your willpower in the journey to your wanted Success!

If you favor a “Single-minded” approach, you will demonstrate the features below:

And, If you favor a “Multi-minded” approach, you will demonstrate the features below:

In reality, things become more complicated than you can imagine. As I mentioned in the previous articles, people are affected by many factors including internal factors like personalities, mindsets, and feelings as well as external factors like family background, working environment, and daily occurrences. Therefore, the grey area is always counted when seeing and analyzing things.

There is a fact that every individual will demonstrate nuances of these 2 approaches in life. The solution here is not fixing or defining what approaches you are carrying. What you are being after is understanding and recognizing the ways you are processing your inputs, setting goals, and pursuing the goals. Especially, you are highly recommended to differentiate your outer expressions and inner thoughts as separate subjects or entities.

Derek’s Story: According to my observation, there are some of my acquaintances, colleagues, friends, and learners who are struggling with their goals and targets. They keep failing to pursue their goals and achieve their targets. For example, some of my learners failed because of their plans B, C, and D. They expected that they could learn English well and present their ideas in English so that they would get promoted and a well-paid job. Anyway, during their journey, they were always creating backup plans for themselves and saying yes to a lot of procrastination. They gradually ran out of energy and felt despondent about what they were pursuing over time. One day, they gave up on their dreams and goals.  The lesson here is that the minute you have a backup plan, you’ve admitted you’re not going to succeed.

On the other hand, there are some more serious cases. In the beginning, I didn’t notice that they were holding great conflicts with themselves. Their inconsistency in thinking and acting can account for their repeated failed attempts. Somebody I knew thought that he was single-minded. However, he was multi-minded; he always thought of plan B, plan C, and plan D when doing anything. It means that he spread all his effort to multi things at a time to ensure that the backup plans could cover plan A when it failed. At the same time, he acted as if he were a single-minded person, he pushed everything and everybody engaged in his work. In this story, he tried to manage all the plans just to ensure what he wanted coming true. In this way, he was squeezing himself and harshly consuming others. Rarely could he find a team to achieve his “WANTS”. 

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